Week Three Updates

A word about normal

Over the last week Andy and I have been seeing some improvements in Cade. Here are some examples:

Fine motor skills and attention

We have started having him practice tracing letters and coloring a little bit every day to help with his fine motor skills (which have been a significant challenge for him). He usually hates these "projects" and in the past it's taken quite a bit of carrot-dangling to get him to do it. Yesterday, I pulled out his sheet to work on. He was actually excited about it because it's a new one his dad made using Pokemon characters. He completed two sheets without me asking him to, and then wanted to paint the characters on the sheets. He and his sisters then spent the next hour outside painting. Cade hardly ever attends to anything that long - let alone a fine motor skill activity. Today, he used crayons to color his Pokemon character (several different colors for different parts - not just one color for the whole thing), and after he was done coloring, he asked Andy how to spell the name of the character. Without Andy realizing what Cade was doing, Cade did his best to write each letter at the bottom of the page as Andy said it, so that the character's name was on the picture.

Social awareness leading to trying something new

While swimming at grandma's with his cousins this weekend, Cade saw one of his cousins do a handstand in the pool. He looked at his dad and said "I want to do that, too!". So he hopped back in the pool and began several attempts. He actually did pretty well, too. :)

We realize that these may not seem like huge accomplishments, and we don't really expect that Cade will be a different kid overnight. But, these are encouraging and we've had some "normal" moments with Cade that we haven't had before. It's got Andy and me asking "What will 'normal' look like for Cade, and how will we really know if he 's making progress?". We are working on identifying some concrete measures we can use, which we'll share later. But the point is, things are changing.

After having Cade, and then twin daughters (all three premature and under some "abnormal" circumstances), Andy and I have joked that we wouldn't know "normal" if it bit us on the nose when it comes to having kids. Now that Cade is making some steps in a more "normal" direction, I've realized that "normal" isn't normal for us at all. So while the progress Cade is making is wonderful and encouraging, it is a change that our family has to adjust to.

Although I've know this for a while, I am also now re-experiencing that with any change comes some fear. In this case, it's not necessarily fear of the change itself, but fear of trusting the change. Is this "real"? Is this permanent? Will Cade be able to sustain this type of progress as he grows up? I know that there is research out there to help me find some answers, but I think it's important to recognize the emotional part of this journey and that it often takes quite a bit of time for our emotions to catch up with the facts.

I also know that, no matter what may or may not change for Cade, that there is a Creator who made him and loves him and knows what every day of Cade's life will bring before it ever happens. This, more than any progress seen, or research read, is what gives me peace about whatever our "normal" turns out to be.

Becky